Wednesday, March 26, 2014

...a years worth of my silly kids....

Hers are some crazy things my kids have been saying while I haven't been updating their blog for over a year....

Macy is up first...

Macy's night time prayer tonight went like this- “ we are thankful for this day, we ask thee that Luke won't be a naughty pants, that daddy can get a good night sleep, that mommy's baby can grow and come out good as new, and please bless that I can grow to be 7 and get my ears pierced”

I told Macy that it was Uncle Danny's birthday today. She replied with “ Oh dang it, and he's not even here to celebrate it!” I told her I bet he was celebrating in Heaven with everyone else. Then she said “Well are they wild and fun parties or do they have to be reverent parties, since it's heaven and you have to be reverent there?”
Rich prayed before we left our hotel for a safe trip home and also asked that we can be patient and be good listeners and not yell super loud in the car... As soon as he said “Amen” Macy turned to Luke and said “ That means you better not yell or Jesus is gonna come down here and spank your butt!”

Rich made Macy a tent out of chairs and blankets in the living room...Macy took one look at it and said “ Dad, you are a natural born tent maker!”

I was sitting on the couch when Macy jumped out of the bathtub, naked as jaybird, threw her hands up in the air, and ran a lap around the living room, all while screaming "Go BYU! Whoooo!!!" .... I told her shenanigans like that will get her kicked right out of BYU someday.

Luke was crying and being extra whiny and Macy walked in and goes... “hmmmm...someone sure is getting grumpy without their beauty sleep!”

Macy asked “Was God born before Jesus and dinosaurs?” I answered yes, and she said “ Whoa...he still looks pretty young for being crazy old”

During Sacrament meeting, Macy was reading a Noah's ark book. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said “ Why did Noah only take 2 of every animal?? What happened to the rest of animals? DID THEY ALL DIE????”

Whenever I catch Macy doing something she knows she is not supposed to, I tell her it doesn't make me very happy. Then she tells me “ Oh I was just pretending to be on TV mom.

Luke told Macy... “I'm so cute. How cute are you?” To which Macy replied “ oh just 51%”

Macy said “If a scientist would just invent invisible paint, then I would be the goodest hide and seeker ever!”

Macy wasn't feeling very well and so she came and threw herself on the couch and said “ I'm the sickest girl in the West!”

Macy heard someone singing on TV. She told me “That guy is a terrible singer!” I explained to her that, it doesn't matter if you are good or bad, it matters that you are putting yourself out there and being brave and having fun. She looked at me annoyed, and said “ Mom, people only say that when someone isn't very good at singing.

Macy was trying to explain to Luke what it feels like when your leg is asleep, so she told him “ It feels like infinity jumping beans are going crazy in your leg”

Macy was jumping around Miley when she was first born and Macy landed on my toe. I got upset with her and told her that she wasn't being very responsible with how she was acting around the baby and that she could have easily fell on the baby. Macy said sorry and went upstairs. About 20 minutes later she called me upstairs to look at something and I found she had cleaned her whole room and put away some of her laundry. I told her I was so proud of her and that it made me so happy that she was helping...to which she replied “Who's responsible now????”

Last night, Macy took a laundry basket out to the driveway and flipped it over to make a table...then she got a bunch of paper towels, got them all wet and layed them out over the makeshift table and then started YELLING at the top of her lungs " WET PAPER TOWELS FOR SALE!! COME GET YOUR WET PAPER TOWELS! ONLY ONE DOLLAR EACH!!!" She didn't get any customers so she came in a got the box of toothpicks, headed back out side and started yelling " TOOTHPICKS AND PAPER TOWELS FOR SALE!!!"

Today I checked the mail and there was nothing for Macy, so she got big tears in her eyes and said " Heavenly Father NEVER answers my prayers! I asked her what she meant and she said " I always pray for two things! One, that I can fly, and two, that I can get mail everyday! And those prayers NEVER GET ANSWERED!"

Macy asked me "Was Mary and God married before Mary was married to Joseph?" I said " No, why?" She looked SHOCKED and said "Well if they weren't married, then why could they have a baby together??"

Macy got 2 shots are her doctors appointment and told me that it hurts worse than bloody murder and sandpaper.

We were looking at a deer outside the front window that was eating in our yard and Macy said “ OH! It's SO BEAUTIFUL!!! Then she got a crazy look in her eye and said “ Let's shoot it and eat it!”
Macy: “mom can we live like orphans for two years?”
Me: ”well if you are an orphan that means both of your parents died”
Macy: “Oh I don't mean THAT kind of orphan... I mean the kind of orphans that don't use mops...just buckets and dirty towels to clean the floor and walls...that looks like fun”

I asked Macy to clean up the living room and then she ran to the open window and sang like snow white. I asked her what she was doing and she said “ calling all my nature friends to help me clean the living room”

We were driving around look for somewhere to eat and Macy asked if we could go to Taco Bell. I told her no, we needed something more healthy and she said “ ugh... it's turning into a real trial to get fed around here!”

Macy: "Mom, today a black guy helped me at church...and I think I liked it." You can't really blame her. we live in Montana, after all.

Macy asked me, “Mom what if it's time for me to go to heaven and I have stuff in my pocket?” I said nothing goes to heaven with you, just your spirit”...then she said “ oh so it just falls back down to earth while I go up?”
We saw a huge tree house last night behind some one's house and Macy said “ whoa, that is LEGIT”
I told Macy to do her homework before she went out to play because that's the responsible thing to do. Then I asked her “ Why is it important to be responsible?” and she answered “ Because we're Mormon”


Luke's turn...


WE were listening to a Beyonce song and the lyrics are “ Who runs the world? GIRLS!” and after listening to it for couple days in the car, Luke asked me “ how bout boys and girls share the world?”
 
Rich asked Luke “ Why are you so little?” And Luke answered saying “ Cause I can't reach things”
Luke came in a week after his 3rd birthday, holding up 3 fingers and excitedly said to me, “Mom, I'm not two anymore! I'm three!!!” Then he got a really sad face and said “ but I still can't reach things”
 
Luke told me “ I can't wait for the baby to get our of your belly. I'm gonna hold her and punch her so soft.
Luke told me that when the baby comes out the first thing he's going to tell her is that his favorite toy elephant is broken.
 
Luke has been telling me lately that he doesn't love me anymore because he is too sick or too tired :)

Luke, Macy and I were upstairs making beds when Luke stood up really tall and said “ GOODBYE LADIES, I'm going downstairs forever!” and then marched downstairs.

If Luke thinks he is waiting too long to do something he wants to do, he tells, us “ I'm waiting SO HARD”

The other day Luke asked me for some candy. I told him not until after lunch and he said “ but I need it right now mom, I'm SO SO serious.” I told him “ I'm sorry, but you can have it after lunch” Then he started crying kept saying “ but I was serious!!! But I was SO SERIOUS!”

I asked Luke what kind of fun stuff he wanted to do this summer and he said “ go to Target, then watch all the flowers bloom up”

Luke just came up to me with the most serious face with huge eyes and he said... “ Grandpa says NO nasty words and NO farts! And next time I go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house I WON’T pick my boogers.”

Luke was showing me a toy telescope he had gotten in one of his happy meals....he told me the toy was from. “e-i-ei-oh” I said “ from where??? and he said “ MOM! E-I-E-I-OH McDONALDS!”

Luke asked me “ Do you know when you eat food, it goes in your poop?” and also “did you know turds is poop?”

Luke saw a row of townhouses and said “ Why are those houses glued together?”

I told Luke I was going to steal his little toes and he said “ You can't they are glued to my foot!”

Luke smiled and said “I'm cute, so do you wanna kiss me?”

Luke calls burp cloths, “burf clops”

Luke said “When my tummy hurts, that's my tummy telling my butt, that it's time to poop”

Luke smelled Rich's face and then said “ Oh, you smell AWESOME!”

Luke said “ Daddy you are so strong that when you step on rocks, you crack them.”

Luke walked into the kitchen while I was making lunch and said “Mom it's a GREAT day for this!” then he turned around and mooned me.

I told Luke that now that we lived in Utah we are going to Super Target! He said “oh! Is there a cape on the back of the store?”

Luke calls In and Out Burger, “up and down burger”


Luke said “When I grow up I can be a cake man and do all the stuffs with all the cakes”

“when I touch my weenie...it tickles. That's strange!” but in Luke language it sounded like “ dats stwange"
 
Luke rode to a store with Pops in his truck and we met them there... Luke came running into the store and asked me “ is my neck red?” I said, “ no, why?” He answered, “cause pops said if I ride in his car, I will turn into a red neck”
 
I asked Luke if he was going to marry a girl who went to church, and he said “No!” Then I asked, “Where are you going to get married?” He said “ at Hawaii, because they have a church and a toy store.”
 
Luke “Mom, I love being Lukey”
Mom: Why?
Luke “cause its da best fing to be!” ( it's the best thing to be)   
 
As we drove away from dropping Macy off at her first day of kindergarten, Luke sighed so loud and dramatically exclaimed "this is the best day of my life!"  
 
Luke heard Miley crying through the baby moniter, and he came running up to me and said “ I can hear Miley in the baby thermometer!!
 
They announce our names in our new ward and when they said “Luke Knapp” he looked at us, shocked and said. “ THEY SAID MY NAME!”
 
Luke tried some savory flavored popcorn and started gagging and said “This taste-es like trees
 
Luke snagged a big drink of my diet dp and then let out a huge sigh and said “ mommy, I can't help it, soda just loves my tummy”
 
 
"Mom, no one is beautifuller than moms, no one is stwonger than dads, no one is cooler than little boys, no one is cuter than sisters, and no one is faster than me."