Wednesday, March 26, 2014

...a years worth of my silly kids....

Hers are some crazy things my kids have been saying while I haven't been updating their blog for over a year....

Macy is up first...

Macy's night time prayer tonight went like this- “ we are thankful for this day, we ask thee that Luke won't be a naughty pants, that daddy can get a good night sleep, that mommy's baby can grow and come out good as new, and please bless that I can grow to be 7 and get my ears pierced”

I told Macy that it was Uncle Danny's birthday today. She replied with “ Oh dang it, and he's not even here to celebrate it!” I told her I bet he was celebrating in Heaven with everyone else. Then she said “Well are they wild and fun parties or do they have to be reverent parties, since it's heaven and you have to be reverent there?”
Rich prayed before we left our hotel for a safe trip home and also asked that we can be patient and be good listeners and not yell super loud in the car... As soon as he said “Amen” Macy turned to Luke and said “ That means you better not yell or Jesus is gonna come down here and spank your butt!”

Rich made Macy a tent out of chairs and blankets in the living room...Macy took one look at it and said “ Dad, you are a natural born tent maker!”

I was sitting on the couch when Macy jumped out of the bathtub, naked as jaybird, threw her hands up in the air, and ran a lap around the living room, all while screaming "Go BYU! Whoooo!!!" .... I told her shenanigans like that will get her kicked right out of BYU someday.

Luke was crying and being extra whiny and Macy walked in and goes... “hmmmm...someone sure is getting grumpy without their beauty sleep!”

Macy asked “Was God born before Jesus and dinosaurs?” I answered yes, and she said “ Whoa...he still looks pretty young for being crazy old”

During Sacrament meeting, Macy was reading a Noah's ark book. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said “ Why did Noah only take 2 of every animal?? What happened to the rest of animals? DID THEY ALL DIE????”

Whenever I catch Macy doing something she knows she is not supposed to, I tell her it doesn't make me very happy. Then she tells me “ Oh I was just pretending to be on TV mom.

Luke told Macy... “I'm so cute. How cute are you?” To which Macy replied “ oh just 51%”

Macy said “If a scientist would just invent invisible paint, then I would be the goodest hide and seeker ever!”

Macy wasn't feeling very well and so she came and threw herself on the couch and said “ I'm the sickest girl in the West!”

Macy heard someone singing on TV. She told me “That guy is a terrible singer!” I explained to her that, it doesn't matter if you are good or bad, it matters that you are putting yourself out there and being brave and having fun. She looked at me annoyed, and said “ Mom, people only say that when someone isn't very good at singing.

Macy was trying to explain to Luke what it feels like when your leg is asleep, so she told him “ It feels like infinity jumping beans are going crazy in your leg”

Macy was jumping around Miley when she was first born and Macy landed on my toe. I got upset with her and told her that she wasn't being very responsible with how she was acting around the baby and that she could have easily fell on the baby. Macy said sorry and went upstairs. About 20 minutes later she called me upstairs to look at something and I found she had cleaned her whole room and put away some of her laundry. I told her I was so proud of her and that it made me so happy that she was which she replied “Who's responsible now????”

Last night, Macy took a laundry basket out to the driveway and flipped it over to make a table...then she got a bunch of paper towels, got them all wet and layed them out over the makeshift table and then started YELLING at the top of her lungs " WET PAPER TOWELS FOR SALE!! COME GET YOUR WET PAPER TOWELS! ONLY ONE DOLLAR EACH!!!" She didn't get any customers so she came in a got the box of toothpicks, headed back out side and started yelling " TOOTHPICKS AND PAPER TOWELS FOR SALE!!!"

Today I checked the mail and there was nothing for Macy, so she got big tears in her eyes and said " Heavenly Father NEVER answers my prayers! I asked her what she meant and she said " I always pray for two things! One, that I can fly, and two, that I can get mail everyday! And those prayers NEVER GET ANSWERED!"

Macy asked me "Was Mary and God married before Mary was married to Joseph?" I said " No, why?" She looked SHOCKED and said "Well if they weren't married, then why could they have a baby together??"

Macy got 2 shots are her doctors appointment and told me that it hurts worse than bloody murder and sandpaper.

We were looking at a deer outside the front window that was eating in our yard and Macy said “ OH! It's SO BEAUTIFUL!!! Then she got a crazy look in her eye and said “ Let's shoot it and eat it!”
Macy: “mom can we live like orphans for two years?”
Me: ”well if you are an orphan that means both of your parents died”
Macy: “Oh I don't mean THAT kind of orphan... I mean the kind of orphans that don't use mops...just buckets and dirty towels to clean the floor and walls...that looks like fun”

I asked Macy to clean up the living room and then she ran to the open window and sang like snow white. I asked her what she was doing and she said “ calling all my nature friends to help me clean the living room”

We were driving around look for somewhere to eat and Macy asked if we could go to Taco Bell. I told her no, we needed something more healthy and she said “ ugh... it's turning into a real trial to get fed around here!”

Macy: "Mom, today a black guy helped me at church...and I think I liked it." You can't really blame her. we live in Montana, after all.

Macy asked me, “Mom what if it's time for me to go to heaven and I have stuff in my pocket?” I said nothing goes to heaven with you, just your spirit”...then she said “ oh so it just falls back down to earth while I go up?”
We saw a huge tree house last night behind some one's house and Macy said “ whoa, that is LEGIT”
I told Macy to do her homework before she went out to play because that's the responsible thing to do. Then I asked her “ Why is it important to be responsible?” and she answered “ Because we're Mormon”

Luke's turn...

WE were listening to a Beyonce song and the lyrics are “ Who runs the world? GIRLS!” and after listening to it for couple days in the car, Luke asked me “ how bout boys and girls share the world?”
Rich asked Luke “ Why are you so little?” And Luke answered saying “ Cause I can't reach things”
Luke came in a week after his 3rd birthday, holding up 3 fingers and excitedly said to me, “Mom, I'm not two anymore! I'm three!!!” Then he got a really sad face and said “ but I still can't reach things”
Luke told me “ I can't wait for the baby to get our of your belly. I'm gonna hold her and punch her so soft.
Luke told me that when the baby comes out the first thing he's going to tell her is that his favorite toy elephant is broken.
Luke has been telling me lately that he doesn't love me anymore because he is too sick or too tired :)

Luke, Macy and I were upstairs making beds when Luke stood up really tall and said “ GOODBYE LADIES, I'm going downstairs forever!” and then marched downstairs.

If Luke thinks he is waiting too long to do something he wants to do, he tells, us “ I'm waiting SO HARD”

The other day Luke asked me for some candy. I told him not until after lunch and he said “ but I need it right now mom, I'm SO SO serious.” I told him “ I'm sorry, but you can have it after lunch” Then he started crying kept saying “ but I was serious!!! But I was SO SERIOUS!”

I asked Luke what kind of fun stuff he wanted to do this summer and he said “ go to Target, then watch all the flowers bloom up”

Luke just came up to me with the most serious face with huge eyes and he said... “ Grandpa says NO nasty words and NO farts! And next time I go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house I WON’T pick my boogers.”

Luke was showing me a toy telescope he had gotten in one of his happy meals....he told me the toy was from. “e-i-ei-oh” I said “ from where??? and he said “ MOM! E-I-E-I-OH McDONALDS!”

Luke asked me “ Do you know when you eat food, it goes in your poop?” and also “did you know turds is poop?”

Luke saw a row of townhouses and said “ Why are those houses glued together?”

I told Luke I was going to steal his little toes and he said “ You can't they are glued to my foot!”

Luke smiled and said “I'm cute, so do you wanna kiss me?”

Luke calls burp cloths, “burf clops”

Luke said “When my tummy hurts, that's my tummy telling my butt, that it's time to poop”

Luke smelled Rich's face and then said “ Oh, you smell AWESOME!”

Luke said “ Daddy you are so strong that when you step on rocks, you crack them.”

Luke walked into the kitchen while I was making lunch and said “Mom it's a GREAT day for this!” then he turned around and mooned me.

I told Luke that now that we lived in Utah we are going to Super Target! He said “oh! Is there a cape on the back of the store?”

Luke calls In and Out Burger, “up and down burger”

Luke said “When I grow up I can be a cake man and do all the stuffs with all the cakes”

“when I touch my tickles. That's strange!” but in Luke language it sounded like “ dats stwange"
Luke rode to a store with Pops in his truck and we met them there... Luke came running into the store and asked me “ is my neck red?” I said, “ no, why?” He answered, “cause pops said if I ride in his car, I will turn into a red neck”
I asked Luke if he was going to marry a girl who went to church, and he said “No!” Then I asked, “Where are you going to get married?” He said “ at Hawaii, because they have a church and a toy store.”
Luke “Mom, I love being Lukey”
Mom: Why?
Luke “cause its da best fing to be!” ( it's the best thing to be)   
As we drove away from dropping Macy off at her first day of kindergarten, Luke sighed so loud and dramatically exclaimed "this is the best day of my life!"  
Luke heard Miley crying through the baby moniter, and he came running up to me and said “ I can hear Miley in the baby thermometer!!
They announce our names in our new ward and when they said “Luke Knapp” he looked at us, shocked and said. “ THEY SAID MY NAME!”
Luke tried some savory flavored popcorn and started gagging and said “This taste-es like trees
Luke snagged a big drink of my diet dp and then let out a huge sigh and said “ mommy, I can't help it, soda just loves my tummy”
"Mom, no one is beautifuller than moms, no one is stwonger than dads, no one is cooler than little boys, no one is cuter than sisters, and no one is faster than me."                                                               

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

...Do elephants have boogers....

-We were in Billings, MT on vacation and all 4 of us were in the elevator at the hotel. Luke saw the little alarm button with a bell shape on it, and he pointed to it, looked up at me and said “ Luke pwess da taco bell button??”

-Macy asked if Jesus could talk through the clouds down to us.
I told her Jesus doesn't really live above the clouds, he lives in a different place and that is Heaven. And then Macy said “Oh...Utah?”

-I stepped up on a chair to hang a picture and Luke came running up with a super happy look on his face and said “ Oh Mommy!! You a giant!!!”
-Macy asked if Jesus could hear everything we said. I told her yes. After 4 minutes of super concentrated thinking she said “ So I won't SAY anything naughty, I'll just DO some things naughty.” To which I replied, “ I have bad new, Jesus can SEE you,, too” Wide eyed and shocked she exclaimed “ WHAT?? I'm in trouble”

-I gave Luke a bagel with cream cheese for lunch, and he looked at it and said “Wow! Beautiful!”

-Today Luke was screaming SUPER loud out of happiness and Macy walked up to him and said "LUKE! I appreciate screaming, but right now I'd like some peace and quiet!!!"

-I heard Luke crying at 3 am so I went into his room and said “ It's OK Lukey, Mama's right here” then he said “Can I have a cookie, please?” I said “ No, it's nigh night time, no cookies” he said “ Ok” and went right back to sleep.
-Macy said “ I'm feeling particular.... What exactly does particular mean?”

-Whenever I am in the way of something Luke wants, he says “excuse me ,please” if I don't move he gets progressively louder and louder and is SCREAMING at the top of his lungs “ EXCUSE ME PLEASE NOW!!!!”

-Macy asked “Do Elephants have Boogers?”

Macy :"Mom guess what my favorite mode is?"
Me: "What?”
-Macy: "Nice and warm mode, and when I pee, it's nice and warm so that puts me in nice and warm mode and it makes me want to calm down"
-Luke was sleeping in his room and I went in to wake him up from his nap. I opened the blinds and he sat straight up and said” My favorite color is Batman!” and laid back down and went to sleep.

-Macy lifted up Rich's shirt and said “ Daddy! You're naked under there!”

-I looked in the rear view mirror to glance at the kids and Macy was looking up at the sky, shading her eyes with her hand. I asked her what she was doing and she said “ looking for Danny's spirit”

Friday, February 3, 2012 the name of Mickey Mouse...

Macy asked if Jesus could talk through the clouds down to us. I told her Jesus doesn't really live above the clouds, he lives in a different place and THAT is Heaven. And then Macy said “ Oh.... Utah?”

Luke walks around with a small red lightsaber saying “ I bayder, I bayder” (I'm Vader)

Macy asked if Jesus could hear everything we said. I told her yes. After 5 minutes of super concentrated thinking she said “ So I won't SAY anything naughty, I'll just DO some things naughty.” to which I replied, “ I have bad new, Jesus can SEE you” BIG EYED and shocked she exclaimed  “WHAT?!?"

Whenever Luke sees anything dark he says "dats scay-wee"

In primary our primary president told they kids they should be reverent ALL THE TIME...Macy raised her hand and suggested "How about we are reverent when my hair is curly, but when my hair is straight, we dont' have to be..." .....SOMEONE is stinking DIVA.

I just told Macy " Hey Macy, I love you!" to which she replied "Well that's no surprise"

We are teaching Luke to say family prayers at night and this is how tonight's prayer went.
Kellie “ say Dear Heavenly Father”
Luke: “fauder”
Kellie” we are thankful for...”
Luke “ Mickey Mouse”
Kellie” we ask thee for...”
Luke “ Mickey Mouse”
Kellie “ please bless...”
Luke “ Mickey Mouse clubhouse”
Kellie “in the name of “
Luke “ Mickey Mouse”
Kellie “ Jesus Christ”
Luke “ Amen”

We were swimming at our hotel pool, which was right next to a conference room where a kickboxing tournament was being held. There was a lot of drinking and smoking going on, so I told Rich when we walked in " Ew, it smells like cigarettes and booze.." 30 minutes later we were having fun swimming and Macy blurts out... "EW! It smells like cigarettes and boobs!"

And whenever ANYONE passes gas Luke proudly exclaims  "I tooted!!"

We were headed down to breakfast at our hotel, and Macy told Luke, " We are going to a breakfast restaurant...(long pause) and when you put those words together, it's a BREASTAURANT!"

Luke is talking up a storm these days. But that doesn't mean we always understand him. It almost takes a Rosetta stone to understand this kid at times, case in point..... gunk-in= pumpkin, diddy-bup-bup= giddy up, shooper= super

I met a woman at Costco...we started talking and I told her I was from Las Vegas, then she told me she was San Diego....immediately Macy interjected and said " And I'm from Heavenly Father!!!"

Thursday, September 29, 2011

...sweaty glitter...

We were at the craft/fabric store yesterday and Luke screamed "NOSE!" and the stuck, what looked like his entire finger, up there. He kept saying it over and over "Nose! Nose! Nose!" and trying to see how far up into his nose he could get his finger. Later that night as we knelt down for family prayer, Rich noticed something sitting on his upper lip. He took it off and said " Kellie what is this?" Upon further inspection, I found out it was one of those fake flower berries. He must have ripped one off at the craft store and stuck it up his nose... hence the carrying on about his nose at the store.... I'm so so SO in trouble with this one. I'm gonna have to do nightly cavity checks.

I just told Macy " You are so fabulous, you sweat glitter...." to which she replied "That sounds like a mess"

Macy often drags the bean bag over right in front of the couch so that she can jump from the couch to the bean bag... This morning I watched Luke drag a throw pillow over to the couch, climb up onto the couch, and belly flop right onto the throw pillow. Needless to say, it wasn't a soft landing, but I say...lesson learned.

Luke weighs 32 pounds...That's like 3 sacks of potatoes I have to haul around everyday.

I asked Macy what she wanted for Christmas and she said "An xray machine to see inside my body"

Luke ate 3 hot dogs and an entire can of mandarin oranges, and then brought me his plate and said " more?" I said no and he started bawling, threw him on the ground yelling "MORE! MORE!" Obviously I gave him more, as I imagined our future grocery bill and tried not to cry.

We went outside and Macy was covering her eyes and walking around. I asked her what she was doing and she said " I can't handle the sunshine in my eyes, because my eyes are too expensive." I'm guessing she meant sensitive.

Here's a piping hot fresh batch of legos... compliments of Macy.

We started a couple of hours a week of preschool with a friend of mine and her two girls. Macy LOVES IT. My friend usually takes a day and I take a day, and it's really just a couple of hours to have some fun...I took a picture of our BEE WEEK projects..That little rope/popsicle stick/pencil eraser contraption is a buzz maker... It's super cool.
and finally... some pictures of the little stinkers...

Just a little toddlers and tiaras moment right here...
He's wild.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Summer 2011

Macy was smacking her forehad into an open book. I asked her to stop and then asked her what she was doing to which she replied " I'm trying to jump into this book!" Maybe too much SuperWhy???

I asked Luke a question in the car the other day and Macy informed me that Luke couldn't talk. Then a minutes later with a super alarmed look on her face she said "Mom?! How am I talking like this? How did I find all these words out? How do I know everything?!?"

Luke can say quite a few of words now, count to 3 ( uhn, two, TEE!) and can identify and "say" eyes, ears, mouth, nose, tounge, hair, chin, cheeks, hands, fingers, feet, toes, belly, and..... weenie. I'm sure you know who is blame for teaching him to identify his "weenie". He also says " dunna nunn nunna nunna dunna nunna nunna nunna BATMAN!" He also calls Spider man "bidda bidda Man"

Macy was going potty when all of the sudden she started BAWLING. I ran in to ask her what happened and she screamed " MY BUTT HURTS!" I was kinda freaked out and "I asked her what does it feel like?" to which she screamed her reply as "BURNT CHICKEN!!" I had no idea you could FEEL like burnt chicken.

Luke was bonking my head with his head and laughing hysterics... after about 10 times he grabbed my face and yelled "FUN!"

As we were driving down the street she was looking out the window and said " How are there so many places to explore on this earth?"

Macy was saying our family night time prayer  and she said "We're grateful for the sun, and clouds,  the rain and the stars in the night sky, we love "dee" dear heavenly father"

We call Luke "diddy bottom" and he's started calling himself "diddy bottom".We have a neighbor named Brody, which Luke calls "biddy". The other day he pointed to brody and said " biddy bottom!" He also calls out neighbor Sydney "sinny" and Iris "ah-dee" and Wendy is "win-ee"

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

...Alligator Juice...

Luke had a fever last night and for some reason whenever our kids get sick, Rich and I scramble to the store to get them Gatorade. So we got home and poured Luke a sippy cup full and Macy asked " what's that?" Rich told her "It's Gatorade to help Diddy feel better"

Fast forward to this morning I came downstairs with Luke and told Macy he was still feeling yucky. So she said " Oh you should give him some of that alligator juice to make him feel better."

So, from here on out in our house, Gatorade will now be called alligator juice.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

...sail through a grotto?...

Earlier, Macy brought her almost out of helium balloon up to me.
She said " Mom, this balloon is out of balloon oil"
I said " Kind of. It's actually called helium and it's a gas that keeps the balloon up, so yes, it's almost out of helium."
She said " When it's all gone, it'll run out of gas and it won't have anymore power?"
I said " That's right"
She said " Well, we'd better get a refill and quick!"
Macy just came up to me with big tears in her eyes...
She asked " Mom? If I get on a golden boat and sail through a grotto, will the sea witch cast a naughty spell on me and turn me into this?" Then she made a face that looked like she had been punched in the stomach.
I said "  No Macy, no sea witch will ever cast a spell on you EVER"
She said " oh good, then I'll stop crying"

Luke calls water " wan-oo" and if I give him "wan-oo" instead of milk, she throws his sippy cup across the room and yells " NO WAN-OO"

That isn't cute, I just wanted to keep it on record so I can remind him he owes me big time later in life.

Every time either Rich or I leaves the house Macy says " Bye! I'll never forget you!!!!"

Macy will randomly ask us " Hey, what song am I singing?" Then she'll make a weird face while she bops her head and looks like she is chewing something with her mouth closed. We didn't get it at first but she is actually singing a song in her head and trying to mouth the words...but with her mouth closed. The best part is we guess the songs right 80% of the time because she has so few songs in her repertoire. Meanwhile she thinks we are mind readers, and I think I'll keep it that way.

Luke has a unused swim diaper that he has made his hat. He brings it to me and says " at?" and touches his head, so I put it on and he walks around like he is the coolest thing ever and keeps patting the diaper saying " at!" with a super smug smile on his face.
I taught Macy the first Article of Faith just to see if she could remember it. I couldn't decide whether or not I should start the 2nd one or not so I just read it to her to see if she was interested. Two days later she told me " men should be punished for their own sins and not for Adam's transmission ( instead of transgression).

One of Luke's 5,000 nicknames is Godzilla. He is OBSESSED with sitting in or on things. If Macy builds a little town or tower out of blocks he walks up to it, turns around and sits on it. If there is even the smallest puddle of water or mud ( oye!) he walks right over, plops himself down and makes himself comfortable.
News update to the evolution of Luke's nicknames. Starting with his real name ending with what his name as evolved into.
Luker Bum
Luker bum bum
the bum bum
bum bum
bum diddy bum bum
bum diddy
the diddy
diddy from the big city.
the did

SO yes, we call our child "Did."
Any suggestion and/or guesses as to what the next stage of evolution will be??????